Mother's Day letterMummy, who is known as a figure of gentleness, kindness and generousness, never randomly vent her anger on anyone. She was born in the Sim family back in 23/06/1959. The 3rd sister in the family but was the 4th child, as she had an elder brother. Born in a generation where “kampongs” used to be the common people’s dwell. Like many of the people of her age, they would tell you how tough life was back then. She only managed to complete secondary 4 and had to work so that her younger siblings could have a chance to further their studies.
Mummy have always been a family woman, she would do her best and put in her utmost effort in them. Even it meant that she will have lesser sleep, have to sacrifice her time and money and shed blood and tears. She does it all in silence, without any complains and never expect anything in return.
She would always demand to pay whenever we have dinner with my relatives, even though they earn much more than she do. It’s not meant to be a show off or rich wannabe, it is just her responsibility to continue to look after them in all form of ways she could think of. She never once shrieks her responsibility and always abides by it with her heart and soul. She is fully committed to what she is doing and has been doing throughout her life.
Mum agreed and accepted dad’s proposal of marriage. It may be one of her deepest regrets of her life. Dad never brought much joy and good life to Mum. Mum has to start the hawker business together with dad. Being a hawker is no easy life and not really a woman’s desire occupation. She worked hard all her life, bearing her 2 kids in her mind.
Dad just cooks the chicken and the rice, shortly after that he will leave to the market and never really return back to help Mum. Mum will only be with her sole helper during the rush hour of lunch. Can you imagine 2 women working there, and other stalls have 4 workers each. Mum have to stand the whole day, they set off for work from 6.20am and will only return at 8pm.
Even though her job was wearing her out day by day, and she suffered from leg muscular pain. She perseveres on each day as she has not much other choice but to do so. If she does not work hard while my dad is always drinking and doing some f-up stuff, we will be still living in poverty right now. Mummy is a woman who works so hard all her life and does not have much happiness in her life.
Her job scope is really dreadful for me to say out, it hurts me terribly. She has to stand the whole day to chop chicken. Chopping chicken is no small deal, even a guy my size will feel muscular fore arm pain when I do it for just a few round. But mummy is obligated to do it for the whole day, chopping and standing the whole day is really very tiring. She often comes back with pain all over her but she does not complain much.
Many of my friends who know of my family problems respect my Mum and thinks that she is a wonder woman. She has so many problems and the biggest will be our family problem. She always keeps the problems to herself and rarely airs them out. After so many years of facing such problems, she finds no good reasons to talk them out any more.
Dad is a season drinker and smoker; he drinks at least 10 cans a day and smokes 2 packs a day. Even after many years of persuading dad to stop, and after many empty promises made to us, he still carry out his bad habits lavishly. He had gotten many problems after drinking excessive and in a state of getting boozed up. These are the reasons that cause many of the problems in my family; they will be useful to help you understand the problems.
After a tiring day at work, all that mum wishes for when she comes back are warm food and to relax her wore out muscles. What she will do is sit there and eats her dinner quietly, occasionally talking to whoever is eating too. But when dad returns home gorgy and drunk, he will always pick a fight, an easy quarrel with mum. He will start by shouting at her for no apparent reasons and then when she raises her voice after tolerating for a period of time. He will start his verbal abuse on her.
Mummy has never done anything to let our family or me down. The only time when I was glooming mad with her was when I can see she is bias towards Glenn and would blame me for our wrong doings. There was an instance when I shouted at her about it and the repercussion was indeed much undesired. She reprimanded me, punch me in my arm and I had no pocket money for a week. We did not spoke for a week till I apologised to her and helped her carry her bag when I met her at the lift.
Mum and us know of dad’s darkest secret that he “made” it known to us, or there were many ways we found out about it. We abhor what he does outside the family and at times to our family too. Mum will blatantly say them out when she is exasperated, but the problem will worsen. Dad being himself will reverse the cycle and make Mum look like she is in the wrong. When things get really heated up, physical contacts do occur at times.
Though Mum suffered so much, both at work and even at home. She never gave up a single time. She had wanted to attempted suicide in the past but was stopped by my maid or Glenn. They told her that it was not worth it all, for dad is not worth it all. With muscular pains and aches constantly occurring, what she can do is thinking of her two beloved sons when the pain is intensifying.
Mum has no other choice but to give in during arguments with dad, no one else knows how to cook the chicken and without them they will be no business. And they have received a last warning for the stall to be confiscated. Dad is in the wrong lime light again. He will find problems with almost everyone in the canteen. The ironies are that dad is the most hated in the canteen while Mum is the most well liked one. Dad can always be an embarrassment in front of friends and relatives.
I’ve told Mum that how much I wish I have gotten my degree. Then she would not have to work any more and it will be Glenn and my turn to look after her. This problem has been drowning in my mind for a period of time, university fees are expensive and I was afraid Mum could not carry that burden. If a company offers me a bond to study and in return I’m contracted with them for a period of time, I would not mind as I really don’t want to see Mum carry on working so hard each day.
Without Mum, I will not have such good food, good life and everything else good. Yes, I must also admit that dad played a vital role too. But, he is the one that is using up the family reserve for ridiculous and atrocious habits and actions that he had cultivated.
Though I had not said “I Love You” to mummy all these years, but from the bottom of my heart, I really do mean it.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mummy